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Log inIt has taken 50 years
It has taken 50 years
by Hugh on Thu Mar 06, 2008 8:42 am
At the age of 11 I was sent to a boarding school run by the Order of Francis Xavier in Sussex. Over the following five years I was recieved mental, physical and slight sexual abuse. Slight sexual abuse? Sounds crazy, yet I use that to qualify the abuse; I was never raped, felt, made to strip, and asked to masturbate. Not so slight when looking back.
It has taken fifty years to finally get this down on record and is still gut-renchingly difficult to do so, I have been promted to do so by my partner and the news that people in Jersey are finally coming forward. For years I thought I was alone. I am not even sure whether this site is the best place for me to cataloque the events that took place.
The school was run by a cult of fear. The first year we would be beaten quite regularly for the most trivial of reasons, some children more than others, I now realise that we were targeted as the more vunerable. I was a shy child who had been trust into a world I was afraid of.
Who did what?
Brother 1 (can I name them? I would like to) An American who was the 2nd form master. Vicious and totally unloving, he would carry a small rod from the back of one of those high 'teacher chairs' to hit you with....shoes not clean, tie not straight....poor French prep work would mean being beaten to tears in front of the class. He particularly had a dislike for me and another boy Simon, when distributing mail from home he would hold ours back and then rip them up in front of us. This was our only link with the outside world, as juniors we were allowed no radios, newspapers or phone calls. Any item that we had to remind us of home had to be hidden from him somehow as it would be confiscated. He seemed to run the senior prefects in the two years that he was there, these were the school bullies, another chapter could be written about them.
Brother 2. In charge of the Junior dormitorys as well as a teacher. You would be sommonded to his room at the end of the dormiory...I was fondled and made to masturbate in front of him. He show us photos of sortsmen and say that this was the body that we should aspire to. Then I would be caned for 'this gross sin against God' It was he that had the bizarre punishments. I was made to kneel at the altar steps for long periods with dried peas under my knees on the hard marble. Another was to stand with arms outstretched and heavy bibles in each hand. All these were accompanied with verbal accusations of how unworthy we were.
Brother 3. The head master . A vivious little Scotsman whose use of the cane was a sort of ledgend, to be even threatened to be sent to his office would chill us. It was not done to cry but not many survived a visit dry eyed.
There were others and I have no doubt that some boys were treated worst than I was. Quite often there would be non returns at the beginning of term and looking back I now realise that these were all the vunerable children.
It seems silly to admit they I was too scared to say anything to my parents, I wish to God I had, whether I would have been believed is another thing.
It has taken fifty years to finally get this down on record and is still gut-renchingly difficult to do so, I have been promted to do so by my partner and the news that people in Jersey are finally coming forward. For years I thought I was alone. I am not even sure whether this site is the best place for me to cataloque the events that took place.
The school was run by a cult of fear. The first year we would be beaten quite regularly for the most trivial of reasons, some children more than others, I now realise that we were targeted as the more vunerable. I was a shy child who had been trust into a world I was afraid of.
Who did what?
Brother 1 (can I name them? I would like to) An American who was the 2nd form master. Vicious and totally unloving, he would carry a small rod from the back of one of those high 'teacher chairs' to hit you with....shoes not clean, tie not straight....poor French prep work would mean being beaten to tears in front of the class. He particularly had a dislike for me and another boy Simon, when distributing mail from home he would hold ours back and then rip them up in front of us. This was our only link with the outside world, as juniors we were allowed no radios, newspapers or phone calls. Any item that we had to remind us of home had to be hidden from him somehow as it would be confiscated. He seemed to run the senior prefects in the two years that he was there, these were the school bullies, another chapter could be written about them.
Brother 2. In charge of the Junior dormitorys as well as a teacher. You would be sommonded to his room at the end of the dormiory...I was fondled and made to masturbate in front of him. He show us photos of sortsmen and say that this was the body that we should aspire to. Then I would be caned for 'this gross sin against God' It was he that had the bizarre punishments. I was made to kneel at the altar steps for long periods with dried peas under my knees on the hard marble. Another was to stand with arms outstretched and heavy bibles in each hand. All these were accompanied with verbal accusations of how unworthy we were.
Brother 3. The head master . A vivious little Scotsman whose use of the cane was a sort of ledgend, to be even threatened to be sent to his office would chill us. It was not done to cry but not many survived a visit dry eyed.
There were others and I have no doubt that some boys were treated worst than I was. Quite often there would be non returns at the beginning of term and looking back I now realise that these were all the vunerable children.
It seems silly to admit they I was too scared to say anything to my parents, I wish to God I had, whether I would have been believed is another thing.
